Is there room in the Para/Crypto/Fortean world for a gun-toting, paranoid, bipolar, opinionated bastard? A lonely romantic in search of his lost soul? A knight, Samurai, gunslinger, born in the wrong century? A self-destructive, doom-driven survivor seeking redemption? A heavy drinking gonzo outlaw cryptozoologist whose ego is exceeded only by his libido?
No, there isn't. That's why I'm here...

17 May 2009

Weirdness In The Workplace

For the past couple of weeks, a doorchime in the office where I work has been randomly going off when no one is present. Naturally, I've been trying to figure out what's causing it so I can fix it before it drives everybody bonkers and there's a murder-suicide spree.
My first thought was a Poltergeist. But there haven't been any recent deaths in the area that could be associated (however remotely) with the office. So I considered Doppelgangers. After carefully counting the number of false alarms and comparing the numbers to a count of actual traffic, well, it just didn't add up.
So, I finally just decided to take the "shotgun" approach. (no, I didn't whip out the .12 gauge!). I performed some cleansing techniques utilizing typical banes. Sage, vinegar, salt, garlic, iron..y'know, the usual stuff. Then I danced around the office naked (some of you armchair Freudians who think my passion for BIG guns, LONG blades, and LARGE, POWERFUL vehicles means anything shoulda been there, then you'd know that it's not compensation, it's more a matter of verification!)
After all this, I also adjusted the laser transmitter to line up more precisely with the reflector.
Problem solved!

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