Is there room in the Para/Crypto/Fortean world for a gun-toting, paranoid, bipolar, opinionated bastard? A lonely romantic in search of his lost soul? A knight, Samurai, gunslinger, born in the wrong century? A self-destructive, doom-driven survivor seeking redemption? A heavy drinking gonzo outlaw cryptozoologist whose ego is exceeded only by his libido?
No, there isn't. That's why I'm here...

03 June 2009

Jason! Grant! A Little Help Here?

I don't have a ghost problem, I don't need a paranormal investigations team, what I need is a couple of plumbers! I spent all day working on a clogged and backed up toilet. I even rented one of those pipe snake things. The snake would reach only so far before it would jam and start flopping around and...splashing.
Whatever the clog is, the snake couldn't get it out. I figure either a kid flushed something or maybe somethin fell from the shelf and got flushed. Anyway, now I'm gonna have to take the toilet out and try from topside.
After hosing myself off outside, two long, hot showers (with good scrubbings that amounted to full-body dermabrasion), liberal applications of Purel and half a can of Axe body spray, I finally feel clean again.
My late grandfather was a plumber, he told me joke about how to tell a plumber from a pipefitter: You stand them up to their neck in a septic tank and swing a wrench at their heads. The plumber will duck.

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