Is there room in the Para/Crypto/Fortean world for a gun-toting, paranoid, bipolar, opinionated bastard? A lonely romantic in search of his lost soul? A knight, Samurai, gunslinger, born in the wrong century? A self-destructive, doom-driven survivor seeking redemption? A heavy drinking gonzo outlaw cryptozoologist whose ego is exceeded only by his libido?
No, there isn't. That's why I'm here...

02 December 2009

"Paranormal Activity" and It's Aftermath...

I mentioned way back in the early days of this blog about my problem with a succubus. I didn't (and still won't) go into all the details about the long ordeal. Suffice it to say I've had some experience with demons and they know my weaknesses. Thanks to a reader (who wishes to remain anonymous) I managed to eventually free myself from the thing. It has tried to return a few times since, but (again, thanks to my friend) I learned how to strengthen my defenses. Sometimes I do wonder if my wife's pain and suffering may be some sort of backlash or counterattack, if it's attacking her, causing her pain, straining our marriage, delighting in torturing us, or maybe something even worse. But, our current situation has only caused us to become closer, to appreciate each other more, and strengthen our relationship.
Because of my experiences in the past (which go on for years), I don't mind saying that I avoid anything having to do with demonic entities like the the plague. Monsters, ghosts, spirits, aliens, just about any other paranormal subject is fine, but keep the demons away from me! In fact, had I known PA involved a demonic entity, I doubt I would have even watched it.
Of course, it's just a movie. There's nothing inherently "evil" or "demonic" about it. But, in my case, it must have opened an old door, or stirred some old memories, or activated whatever part of my twisted mind allows these things in. Some of my acquaintences tell me that they can sense that I'm a "sensitive". I don't feel like it myself. If I tried really hard and maybe relaxed my debunking muscles, I could count what I would consider any "psychic episodes" in my life on the fingers of one hand and still pick my nose. So with my little backstory filled in, here's what's been going on:
The sound on the copy was pretty bad, I had to turn up the volume all the way. Numerous times during the movie, I heard a female voice calling my name. (my REAL name, lol!). Sometimes it was right in my ear, sometimes it sounded like it was coming from elsewhere in the house. My wife was watching tv in the other room, and I kept getting up to go see what she wanted, only to find that she hadn't called me. Maybe it was just a case of aural hallucination caused by the bad sound/speaker/dvd player combination, or maybe not.
A couple of nights later, I was lying in bed and my wife and I both heard a series of knocks. Not random knocks, but several in a row a few minutes apart. like someone knocking on the window or door. They didn't stop until I got up and opened the door to look outside. Of course there was nothing there, but the knocking stopped after that.
The next night, we heard a few more strange noises during the night. Rustling of paper, knocks and bumps, again with no apparent cause.
The next night, I had a very vivd dream about three little "demons" that had gotten into the house. One (seemingly the leader) was solid red, only a couple of inches tall, with a disproportionally large head and huge grinning mouth. The other was blue and slightly taller, and the other was only seen once or twice and was sort of a yellow/ochre color. The red one was the only one who spoke and was the most active. The other two only came around when I was trying to destroy the red one. They all felt like they had no bones, like they were made of rubber. I tried to destroy them with salt (hey, Supernatural can't be wrong, can it?). The salt would cause them to melt (screaming!) into a slimy substance, but eventually they would reform and go about their business, seemingly ticked off at my attempts to kill them. Chopping them into pieces only resulted in their instantneous reconstruction and they seemed to find it humorous.
They would also occasionally try to bond on my hand, like in the movie "The Blob", but I could peel them off immediately.
And then, (remember my weakness?) the three of them joined together and took on the appearance of an attractive, naked black female. "She" made a few offers about how nice it would be if I allowed "her" to stay and "she" and I could be together. And I must confess, I was as they say, "sorely tempted". It must have sensed this, because I immediately heard a huge ruckus in another room. Throwing the dark temptress off my lap, I went into the other room and saw the red demon throwing things around. It said it was "making room for the others". I guess this snapped me out of my "sorely tempted" state and I realized that there's no dealing with these things, they're only out to destroy, and they'll use any means and exploit any weakness to achieve their ends.
I renewed my attempts to destroy the things, or at least get them out of the house, but I woke up before the conclusion.
Since that night, I've experienced some of the old signs of the presence of the succubus, but nothing has really happened yet (other than a few sleepless nights)
Am I saying the movie will affect others the same or similar ways? Well, it would be interesting to see if I'm alone, but honestly, I don't know. Just as plenty of people can play with a Ouija board and have no problems, or dabble in the darker aspects of the paranormal with no repercussions, it may just be a matter of sensitivity, psychological makeup, or subjectability.
After all, it IS just a movie.


Autumnforest said...

Well, admittedly, if this were happening when your life was not unsettled and under stress, I'd say it's kind of unusual. If you ever watched "A Haunting" show, you know that these incidents happen when the family dynamics are under stress. I'd be more apt to say that the little red thing and his companions were your wife's health issues and you cannot destroy or overcome it. The dark woman--a response to your need for physical closeness. It's not really an unusual set of circumstances to have such a reaction to the movie. The movie brought out a theme that, for you, represented the dynamics you're undergoing--attack from the unseen, inability to stop it, but that is all a theme related to your wife's physical problems. I don't think in the least that you're being bothered by demons or unseen things taking you under attack. I'd be more likely to say that you are emotionally vulnerable to your lack of control. The guns provide a very real physical control over what's "out there" but not for the unseen and having no way to arm yourself against that which you cannot control, it shows up in themes in your dreams. When I'm unable to control things going on in my life, I often times have nightmares of my teeth falling out and I realize I can't put them back in because they're my adult teeth and I only get one set. It's a helpless feeling of loss without a way out. On the up side, the movie actually helped you find a release for inner turmoil and to realize it. It's bringing up the present-life theme to examine it. How do you feel in control of things that are out of your control so you can feel back in balance again? I'd put it in perspective. It's not your duty to control your wife's health or anyone else's. You give yourself permission to leave it to the universe. You don't fight the weather or the sunrise. You aren't God, you can't make people "healed." But, you find the control you do have, such as being supportive, being a sounding board, offering comfort, and seeking knowledge in medical options. How does a POW keep from going mad? He writes things in the dirt with his finger. He counts the tiles backwards and forward. He finds the one thing he can control and does it. You're in a life shifting time so there will be disruption. It's part of going through a doorway and into a whole new room in your life. You meet the best of yourself when you go through the worst you can imagine. The good news is, I believe this is completely in your control and not an unseen entity.

Gummerfan said...

Thanks for the analysis, you're probably right. I hope so. Funny you mentioned the guns, at one point in the dream my wife asked me why I didn't just shoot the things and I told her that if everything else I was trying wasn't working, blasting them wouldn't work either.
Some of my dreams (and even my sleep patterns) are pretty wild. Vivid dreams, lucid dreams, recurring dreams in which I visit the same places over and over (places I've never been in real life),sleep paralysis, I'd love to strap on an EEG machine 24/7 for a while just to see what's going on "in there"!

Gummerfan said...

Ooh, just thought of something else. There's a limestone quarry just up the road from me. They've been doing a lot of blasting lately. Think maybe they released some extra energy?

Jeff said...

Have you ever tried cloaking yourself in white light? Like, imagining theres a bright light surrounding your or your room, or even your whole house? They say it works.

Gummerfan said...

I do something similar. Using meditation and visualization, I "construct" a shield around myself and I also visualize energy being transmitted to my wife and others. I've got the url of a website that explains psychic shielding, but I'm away from my home computer right now.