Is there room in the Para/Crypto/Fortean world for a gun-toting, paranoid, bipolar, opinionated bastard? A lonely romantic in search of his lost soul? A knight, Samurai, gunslinger, born in the wrong century? A self-destructive, doom-driven survivor seeking redemption? A heavy drinking gonzo outlaw cryptozoologist whose ego is exceeded only by his libido?
No, there isn't. That's why I'm here...

30 April 2010

Tales Of Heavy Weirdness

One of my coworkers told me about this this morning.
Exactly one year ago yesterday, her ex-husband was killed in a tragic motorcycle accident. Last night, her teenaged daughter decided she wanted to visit her dad's grave. Since it was already dark, the mother and daughter grabbed a flashlight (this is important later) and went to the cemetery. The mother was already dressed for bed, so she put on a t-shirt and wasn't wearing a bra. (I'm not being salacious, this also is important!)
When they were by the grave, the daughter became upset and started crying, and the mom said she was trying to comfort her by telling some stories about the times when she was younger. Suddenly, the mom heard and felt a loud POP in her hand as the flashlight went out. She checked it and found that the batteries had exploded inside.
While she was telling me this story, she jokingly said, "What if it was HIM?" I told her that it might have been, and explained to her the frequent phenomena associated with ghosts, haunted places, and batteries.
Oh, and about the t-shirt thing, when the light went out, the mom felt an insect fly into her shirt and try to land on her boobs.
Maybe that was him, too?

Where's The Holiday Spirit?

Speaking of t-shirts and boobs,in case you weren't aware, today was National Go To Work Naked Day. Since I work in an office full of women, I was rather excited about this. I thought it would be a nice break from the recent hellishness. But, discretion being the better part of valor, I peeked in the door before I entered, only to find that no one else was participating. So, with my head hanging low, I skulked flaccidly back to the car, put on some clothes, and put my camera in the glovebox.
It would have been a great day for it, too. The temperature and humidity were just right for nudity. Just enough for those tiny, glistening beads of perspiration to form on their bodies and slowly trickle southward towards those exotic locales men dream of visiting.
Oh well, maybe next year.

27 April 2010

Alabama Bigfoot & Infrasound

If you're not familiar with the theory that Bigfoot uses infrasound as a means of communication or even defense (thus explaining the paralysis and panic experienced by some witnesses) a quick Google search ("Bigfoot infrasound") will reveal that this topic has been discussed and debated by numerous bloggers, forum posters, and researchers.
Since I can't sit back and watch a debate without adding a little fuel to the fire ( a weakness I'm trying to overcome) I thought I'd share a few passages I read in a book called "Alabama Unsolved Mysteries", by Margaret Walter-Wilson:

"The hair stands up on the back of your neck and the skin crawls, the dogs whimper and cower, and then the bloodcurdling scream shatters the uneasy stillness. Reaearchers and other witnesses describe the scream as similar to that of a howler monkey from South America, but shriller and with a low frequency pitch, which you feel through your chest and clothes more so than you actually hear" (emphasis mine)"Country folk as a rule are familiar with all the usual sounds of Alabama-owls, peacocks (if you've never heard the screech of peacock in the middle of the night, you don't know what "scary" sounds like!-G) and yes, even the occasional black panther- but they say nothing comes close to the chilling howls and screams of this large, furry primate."

Just another little piece of data for the theorists to...theorize about.

26 April 2010

Great Find on the Bargain Table

Yesterday I was poking around the local Books A Million. I had picked up the latest Shotgun News, and on the way out I decided to check out the bargain tables. I had decided on a big coffee table book about Area 51 and Roswell, looked okay, nothing spectacular. But then I caught sight of a little hardcover book entitled "The Vampire Watcher's Handbook, A guide for slayers", by Constantine Gregory, for the irresistable price of $3.97. Not expecting much, I flipped it open, saw a few neat pics and interesting chapter titles, so I picked it up.
You must understand that when it comes to Vampires, I'm a "purist". I don't give a rat's rear end about Dracula, Buffy, Twilight, or Lestat. If it isn't solidly based on history and folklore, it's not worth my time. When I got home and started reading, I was blown away. Not since the chapter on Vampires in John Michael Greer's magnificent "Monsters: An Investigator's Guide To Magical Beings" have I run across a modern work so well-researched and grounded in traditional Vampire lore. There's a wealth of material packed into this tiny book, and the bibliography lists a few more obscure texts I haven't heard of before.
You can go the tough route and plow your way through Summers, Calmet, Perkowski, et al, or you can flip through this handy guide for a quickie.
It's also small enough to fit in a pocket on my BDUs. Buy it, take a copy with you on your next cemetery jaunt or stroll across Europe!

Blogsquatcher, I Hardly Knew Ye...

As detailed at Cryptomundo, the blogger known as the "Blogsquatcher" has announced his leaving of the Bigfoot research field. I only started reading his blog last year, due to it being mentioned frequently on Nick Redfern's blog. I always found the Blogsquatcher's posts interesting, intriguing, and frequently enlightening. A lot of his recent posts regarding the possibility of Bigfoot being paranormal, rather than a flesh-n-blood "wood ape" have made my current "fence-sitting" status increasingly uncomfortable. I still haven't made the decision to jump the fence and join the paranormalists or "Mr. Flabby's" of the world (some of you will get that!), but I'm leaning more and more towards the theory that at least some of the Bigfoot encounters do indeed have more of an air of high strangeness than undiscovered primate about them.
I wish the Blogsquatcher all the best. Whatever his reasons for leaving the field, I respect them.
But, I can't help but harbor the hope that, like Bigfoot himself, the Blogsquatcher may just pop up again when we least expect him. In the meantime, he'll be missed.

10 April 2010

Human Mutilations...Do They or Don't They?

It's been a busy couple of weeks. My work schedule (at my real job!) has changed, so I've been plumb tuckered out for a while, I've been having computer problems, and I've been tied up with some gun projects. But, I have been lookung into an interesting topic: Alien Human Mutilations.
I've been scouring the web for evidence that aliens (or somebody/something) may be be performing "cattle mutilation"-style operations on humans. I've found some reports that seem intriguing at first glance. After all, the thought that you could be minding your own business only to be abducted by aliens and having parts of your anatomy (some precious parts, I should add!) removed and your mutilated corpse unceremoniously dumped in the woods is the stuff of sci-fi horror flicks, right?
But, thus far, I haven't really found enough to convince me of its reality. (and I'm a raving paranoid, mind you!)
I've found a few cases in South America, but the details are too sketchy on most of them to draw a conclusion. The most famous case, that of "Guarapiranga Reservoir" case has been debunked to my satisfaction. The victim's injuries were consistent with torture and murder. Some of the most dangerous monsters are our fellow humans. Some of the other SA cases (most involving mysterious exsanguinations) merit further investigation, so I'm still working on those. The exsanguinations occurred before anyone had ever heard of the Chupacabra, and Mexico and South America have a history of vampiric activity as well, so it may be something other than aliens.
Another case allegedly involving a Sgt. Jonathan P. Louette the White Sands Missile Range occurred in 1956. Louette's mutilated corpse was found in the desert three days after an Air Force Major witneessed his abduction by a disc-shaped UFO. The body bore the typical signs associated with animal mutilations. (if you know what I mean, and I'm sure you do!)
But, this case is one of those Area 51/Roswell Crash type cases with very little corroborating evidence, suspected coverups, official denials, yadda yadda...
I'm still digging into some of this, and while I've yet to find anything really convincing, my efforts haven't been totally in vain: I now have a big file folder labelled "Human Mutilations" in my bookshelf (with some graphic photos) just waiting for some nosy visitor to stumble upon it! That'll teach poke around my stuff!
ARE aliens or some other Intelligent Entity abducting, torturing, and experimenting on humans, leaving their mutilated corpses behind to be discovered? As with most phenomena associated with High Strangeness and Heavy Weirdness, I personally can't confirm or deny it.

08 April 2010

Destination Truth: Jumping The Shark?

I'm not ready to close the book on DT yet, but last night's episode has me scratching my head.
Okay, so Josh Gates and company are headed out to the desert to investigate some haunted ghost towns. These locations are known, mapped, and all you need to do is find the coordinates (which are most certainly filed somewhere), load up in a Jeep and set forth.
But, the DT team opted to travel by car, then break out paragliders so they could mark the coordinates, THEN hop onto an assortment of ATVs (including an amphibious the desert) for the final leg. Can you say "excessive"? I was waiting for Josh to drop from his paraglider into a moving Jeep Rubicon a la' Lara Croft.
I would have rather done without that whole "adventure vacation" scene in favor of more coverage of that awesome cemetery. (was that place not GREAT?!)

But, the gang wasn't finished with their pointless side trips. In the second segment, despite knowing where the legendary creature was said to live, they decide to take a totally unwarranted river rafting trip. A few minutes in some whitewater climaxed by a plunge over a waterfall, all so Ryder could get thrown from the raft. (there's an old Hollywood axiom, "if you can't get her naked, get her wet!"). And then, once they finally reach the creature's alleged habitat, we get not one, but two segments of Josh scuba diving in the murky waters and reporting on how poor the visibility is. (what, once wasn't enough to figure that out? You've got sonar and an underwater camera, use them). This also would hve been a good time to utilize the amphibious ATV that they used to race around the desert.
The great thing about cryptozoology/monster hunting/paranormal investigations is that anybody can do it. Josh Gates and the DT team have the funding and the access to locations that most of us can only dream about. I'd prefer to see them working more and playing less.
I like DT, I really do, but I just want more Hardy Boys and less Johnny Quest.

02 April 2010

I've Been Blog-jacked!

Or blognapped, or something. While Googling myself, I ran across this site. Weird! The words are mine, but the pics are not by, and certainly not of me!
What's up with that?