Is there room in the Para/Crypto/Fortean world for a gun-toting, paranoid, bipolar, opinionated bastard? A lonely romantic in search of his lost soul? A knight, Samurai, gunslinger, born in the wrong century? A self-destructive, doom-driven survivor seeking redemption? A heavy drinking gonzo outlaw cryptozoologist whose ego is exceeded only by his libido?
No, there isn't. That's why I'm here...

25 January 2011

Atypical Bigfoot Sighting, Bigfoot At The Marriott

No, that's not a typo, I mean "atypical" as opposed to "typical". From the files of the BFRO comes this tale of a Bigfoot sighting at the Huntsville, AL Marriott. You heard me right, folks. Not on some lonely rural backroad, not in a remote woodland, not at an isolated mountain cabin. Nope, right off I-565, practically next door to Space Camp!
Here's BFRO's report:
Report # 25559 (Class A)
Submitted by witness on Friday, February 27, 2009.
Exec on business trip has sighting from balcony of hotel near Huntsville

YEAR: 2009

SEASON: Winter

MONTH: February

DATE: 24

STATE: Alabama

COUNTY: Madison County

LOCATION DETAILS: I was on 6th floor of Marriott Hotel facing the Rocket Center--(room 614)--creature was 30-35 yards from parking spaces where the loading docks and dumpster area is if you are facing hotel it will be the area to the left where there is a walking trail

NEAREST TOWN: Huntsville Al


OBSERVED: I was staying at the Marriott hotel 6th floor in Huntsville Alabama at the Space and Rocket Center-At 5:40am on Feb 24th 2009 I went on the balcony to drink my coffee as the room was too stuffy and hot. I was out there just thinking and staring off at the woods when something caught my eye--after refocusing on it I realized there were legs, then arms, then I could clearly make out his face. The creature stood 6-7ft tall and was staring directly back at me-it seemed to have fine hairs all over -grey color hair that got more black as the hair got closer to the skin--the tips of the hair were much lighter--the face (lips, eye lids, etc) were more of a very dark brown-it stood very erect, was very muscular, and did not seem to have the apelike protruding mouth and nose but more flat faced human like--after 30 seconds he started rocking back and forth--I then realized this was moving and could in no way be mistaken for a dear or bear or anything else--this was a fully erect apelike animal that seemed to want me see him --he was rocking back and forth from side to side. After the initial 30 seconds he rocked for about 10-12 seconds then stood and stared at me --I was on the 6th floor about 120 yards away in decent lighting due to hotel lights and street light behind loading area of hotel-he then would stare back then he would remain face forward with feet only about 2 feet apart would lean over to his left with his right arm would start pulling bark off a very large pine tree--it looked as if someone were in a sawing position--then he would stand up stare at me then rock and then pull bark--this was done in that order 3 times over a 5-6 minute period--after five minutes of re-verifying what I was looking at I felt this creature was docile and smooth moving--I decided I would try and get a closer look--as I opened the sliding glass door he stared and I stared back--I ran out of the hotel room and there was security in our hall laying the morning news at the hotel room doors--I asked him to come with me and asked for back up since he had no gun--we ran around the corner outside - as we were running I Finally got the nerves to tell them what I saw--we get to the reference points I had chosen and there were a lot of fresh bark removed from the large pine tree--I tried to pull bark from it to no avail -- it was too hard--I am 6'4" 300 lbs. I went back after 7am (light) -- I did notice what looked like scat --it took the form of explosive diarrhea and looked like a hundred birds had pooped in a small area--like in a shotgun pattern-heavy in the middle and lighter to the outside perimeter-I put a large handful in a Marriott laundry plastic bag--It looks like feces and digested berries and seeds. (It was dry although it had rained the night before) One of the Marriott employee's saw two large footprints --more like deep indention's in the pine straw--I took off my shoe and placed my foot in it and there was about a one inch area all the way around my foot in order to fill the indention--Something very heavy had to make these indention's--I tried and I am 300lbs and could not. I am 100% positive of the above discription--I watched this clearly for 5-6 minutes!

ALSO NOTICED: I did hear the bark coming off the tree when creature was pulling it off. There was a small (12-16 inch pine stick with no bark on it) he could have been using it to pull the bark off the tree--the bark on the ground was very fresh and had holes in the back of it as if beetles or grubs were living in the bark.

OTHER WITNESSES: There were 2 other Marriott employees that saw the bark missing and large foot indentions.


TIME AND CONDITIONS: It was 5:40am about 30 minutes before dawn starts to light up fast--Previous day and night was rainy-that morning it was clear and chilly- There was a parking (street) light about 25 yards directly in front of area he was standing.

ENVIRONMENT: Hotel area-with a natural walking path --small wooded area behind opens to t afield a the bottom of a small mountain--


Follow-up investigation report by BFRO Investigator Joanna Cuva:

This witness has requested to remain anonymous. He has never followed the Bigfoot phenomenon and has always felt people were more than likely misidentifying other animals in his words. His report was consistent with what he described to me over the phone. He was very excited about the whole ordeal and couldn't get over the fact that he witnessed something that is not supposed to exist. I do not feel the scat specimen was related it was very "bird like" in appearance. Unfortunately the sample was not in its original state over 2 weeks later. I was impressed that he took the time to get the sample to see if it was related. There is still an active investigation with this sighting and I will make updates accordingly.

I spoke with *** who is the second shift manager at the hotel. He said that the guest who had the sighting came down to the lobby in the early morning of Feb. 24th and asked the security guard to accompany him outside. He also asked if he had backup and a weapon, just as he said in the report above. He also verified the bark missing on the tree and the impressions. He stated that surrounding the hotel grounds are nature trails and a large deer population. He also said that it was only 100ft from the back of the hotel to the area of the sighting. He has heard of no other sightings in the area.

This sighting isn't unique in the world of monsterdom. Mystery canids, Chupacabras, and yes, Bigfoot have been reported in places where they "ain't got no business bein'". I picked this case because it's pretty recent, plus I'm familiar with the area.
So what to make of it? Of course, we could dismiss it altogether. It doesn't "fit the profile" or jibe with our notion of where Bigfoot should be seen. Either the guy's delusional, or he's just plain lying. "On to the next..." Okay, that's one approach.
Maybe the witness was the victim of a hoax? Possible, but not likely. The witness said it appeared that the "creature" wanted to be seen, not typical behaviour for a creature of such legendery elusiveness. Not to mention that even in the wee hours of the morning, this is an area with constant traffic, a rapidly responding police presence, and the hotel abuts Federal Govenment property (NOT the kind of place where one would want to be caught trespassing!) If it was a hoax, it was pretty pointless. It's not like it held any headlines or riveted the attention of the public at large or even the BF community.
So, how about the Conventional Wisdom the Bigfoot is an unknown large primate, with even a sparse breeding population, that has eluded or avoiding mainstrem science. This particular place is alongside a bust major highway, it's between to popular tourist attractions, the Hunstville Space and Rocket Center and the Huntsville Botanical Garden. The property runs to the Redstone Arsenal and US Army Missile Command. There ARE some wooded areas, but it's not exactly remote, and of course the properties owned by the military and NASA are fenced and patrolled. Is a lone Squatch or small family of BFs existing alongside this considerable human presence and still escaping detection? I suppose one could put on the tinfoil and cry out about government conspiracy and cover-ups, but do you REALLY think even the government could keep such a secret? Doubtful to say the least. (as an aside, I read an account of a hunt for Louisiana's Honey Island Swamp Monster in which the investigators mentioned large areas of the swamp were restricted, being owned and patrolled by... NASA. So hey, there you go! Remember: shiny side out!)
I know there are a few caves and caverns in the area, of course I can't say if there's any kind of extensive network that could serve as a home/breeding ground/concealed travel route for a population of big hairy apes. The whole North Alabama area features numerous known and explored caves, and certainly more that remain unexplored. Again, possible, not probable...
I realize it's not really science to use one unexplained phenomenon (the "paranormal") to explain another (Bigfoot), I can't help but go there sometimes. BF & Company supposedly don't exist, science will tell us that such things can't exist. The problem, of course, is this: People keep seeing the damned things!
BTW, the article mentions that the witness scooped some poop. It doesn't mention what happened to it, if it was ever analyzed,or any other clues to the fate of the sample, so I guess we'll never know the answer to the eternal question: "What kinda shit is THIS?"

23 January 2011

Dammit, Planet!

If you've read the classic UFO literature, or if you remember the big UFO flaps of the 70's, you may recall the number of UFOs spotted near hydroelectric dams, power plants, and even high tension power lines. Theories ranged from UFOs "stealing" or siphoning power, to alien observation of our primitive attempts at harnessing electricity, to more nefarious explanations that they were gathering intel for a future invasion. Since I'm unconvinced that UFOs (at least those that aren't secret government aircraft) are vessels from another planet piloted by alien life forms, I wondered about another reason for this.
As usual, once I started looking, I ended up with something much bigger than I was looking for.
The map below shows numerous UFO sightings in the US.

As you see, there are certain "hotspots" or areas with a high number of sightings.
Now, check out THIS map of BIGFOOT sightings:

Note that neither of these maps are intended to be all-inclusive. They DO, however, demonstrate a pattern. While reading Linda Godfrey's books on the "Dogman/Werewolf" phenomenon, I noted that she points out that the vast majority of sightings occur near a large body of water. This reminded me of the research I did on the Sand Mtn region, which includes Lake Guntersville, as well as the Land Between The Lakes (LBL) region of Kentucky (also a region with plenty of cryptid/high strangeness activity). Both these areas were created by damming rivers to create lakes. Sooo, HERE'S a map of major dams and reservoirs in the US:

Now, am I the only one who sees a pattern here?? So what does this all mean? Here's a possibility:
Water figures heavily into ancient religions, folklore, and magical/esoteric traditions. Ghosts, spirits, vampires, fairies, and numerous other creatures and creepies can't cross moving water. Rivers, and especially landlocked lakes (even man-made lakes) are home to a laundry list of cryptids and monsters. In his book "Monsters: An Investigators Guide To Magical Beings", author John Michael Greer states that according to magical tradition, moving water serves as an "etheric eraser" (essentiallyshorting out the etheric energy of the monster in question) while still water (as in a lake) is an etheric insulator, trapping the energy contained within.
So, moving water is a source, or conduit for energy (think ions) and still water holds energy in. Now, let's consider this watery planet we call home.
Rivers naturally flow, the ocean's tides rise and fall, energy is freely flowing. But then Man comes along, builds dams, stops or alters the flow of rivers, creates massive lakes where none existed before, in effect screwing up the natural flow.
The UFO era "officially" began in 1947. From the 40's through the 70's, the US underwent a massive development. Dams were built, the electric grid was vastly expanded, unprecedented amounts of electricity was being produced and transmitted.
Perhaps the UFOnauts were just checking up on us. Maybe they somehow detected the massive disruptionsin the earth's natural energy flow, magnetic field, even things such as Ley lines?
But what about Bigfoot, Dogmen, and other heavy weirdness? Much has been written about the concept of "portals" or "window areas". It appears that many of these areas are in close proximity to dams and rivers. Did WE create these areas by unintentionally creating "etheric pools"? Did the disruption of the energy flow cause certain areas to become "energy deltas", places with higher concentrations of etheric energy out of balance with the natural flow?
Don't know if it makes you wonder, but it does me!

I Didn't Even Know About This!

Okay, it's been a while since I've Googled myself. After all, you know too much of that will make you go blind, and I'm already nearsighted! But today I was Googling around and I happened upon this site, where yours truly is listed among 30 Cryptozoology blogs. I'm honored, to say the least, especially considering the company I'm in. (I'm number five because I don't really try!) It appears to be pretty old, since they say I've been at it for two years, and it seems that they hadn't figured out I'm in Alabama (not The Lone Star State!) but hey, they spelled my name right!

Not A Monster, But Still Weird...

Okay, this is nothing to do with Cryptozoology, the Paranormal, UFOs, or Fortean phenomena. BUT, it IS North Alabama-related, and it IS weird. In fact, I can't help but imagine the possibility of gathering a few of my blogger friends together so we can ALL walk from Huntsville to Guntersville, and of course, STRUT THAT ASS!!
Strut That Ass! (remix)

17 January 2011

How May I Serve You?

A guy can dream, right??

I was searching around Amazon when I happened upon a book called "Creating Magickal Entities: A Complete Guide to Entity Creation". I'm always on the lookout for anything relating to heavily-weird manifestations. "Monster" covers a broad area, from cryptids, to ghosts, spirits, demons, little grey aliens, fays and little people, vampires, werewolves and their "cousins" to... well a lot of other weiries.
I haven't read the book yet, but after reading the reviews I did some Googling.
My interest in magic (or magick, magyk, magyck, or whichever spelling is currently en vogue...) is pretty limited. Basically just some Natural Magick (such as what works for banes and wards) and a bit of Ceremonial Magic (spells for cleansing, banishing, and getting rid of stuff). But the thought of people creating their own Magickal Entities perked my interest. I came across references to the creation of "Servitors". A Servitor is an entity created through magickal means to assist the creator in a certain task or goal. The Servitor can serve as a positive entity, rendering aid and assistance to its creator. But, Servitors can also be sent on errands that may be , shall we say, less than positive. A magician may create a Servitor to drive away bothersome neighbors, or to seek revenge for a percieved wrong.
The Servitor may also be a PITA to its creator as well. It seems some Servitors may not exactly be serviant. A Servitor may seeks it own independence, its own identity as it were. I've read about Tulpas (thoughtforms brought into being) being difficult for even their creators to get rid of.
Now, I know there are certain gifted or naturally talented individuals who can naturally accomplish things that, for a non-gifted person, would require great effort and concentration. I can't help but wonder if there are individuals who have brought entities into existence by way of natural talent or a "special gift", possibly without their own knowledge.
Suppose a gifted child resents having to move from their home. Or someone holds a deep-seated attachment to a certain place and can't abide the thought of "strangers" living there. Their thought energy produces a Servitor whose goal is to drive the residents away, and guess what? You've got yourself a haunting. :D
Suppose someone can't let go of anger, hate, resentment, jealousy, or other strong negative emotion. What would their Servitor do? Negative entity time! Poltergeists, phantom attackers, spooky shadowy figures, even something that would be percieved as a demon.
On the flipside, I suppose it would be concievable that strong, positive emotion could also produce an unintended entity. Think aboutthe stories of Guardian Angels, apparitions of the Virgin Mary or other religious figures, the mysterious stranger who provides aid and then disappears.
If you can accept the above, what about our collective subconscious desires? All our "dirty little secrets", our repressed emotions, the chaos of the human psyche. Bigfoot (our wild side), advanced aliens piloting UFOs (our desire for progress and technological advancement) even our dark, animalistic side (chupacabras, vampires, incubi, succubi) the possibilities are quite literally endless.
I'm reminded of the SF classic, "The Forbidden Planet" and Walter Pidgeon's cry of "Monsters from the ID!!"

03 January 2011

Wake Me When The Cannibalism Starts...

Earlier tonight, my nieces and nephew drove out to use our bathroom. Why did they come here to... "go" here? Well, it seems that the entire city of Decatur, AL, literally walking distance from Casa de Gummer, is without water. Due to some kind of issue with the treatment plant, the city's water supply is exhibiting "turpidity". That's fancy talk for muddy. They're blaming it on the recent heavy rains, plus some kind of pressure problem. The city's water treatment plant is shut down for at least 24 hrs. There's not a bottle of water to be found in western Morgan County. One release said the water will be back on late Tuesday morning, the latest said later in the evening. Unofficial rumors are circulating that it's more like three days. (Quick, how long does it take to die of thirst? If you said "three days", you obviously attended Burt Gummer's Survival School). Wonder if those birds in Arkansas stopped by Decatur for a drink? Surely you've heard of the mysterious death of thousands of birds in Arkansas on New Year's Eve, not to mention (but I will, of course) the massive fish kill 125 miles away a few days later. Here's a story about those two events.
Lightening? "High altitude hail"?? FIREWORKS??!! Yeah, right, happens all the time...
It's interesting that both "kills" only involved a single species. I remember hearing an interview with an NBC weapons expert who stated that it's entirely possible to engineer bio-weapons keyed to DNA. Just in case it ever became necessary to wipe out all members of a certain race perhaps, or eliminate everyone with certain genetic patterns. Not saying that's in any way connected, of course. It may be totally unrelated. Maybe we should be on the lookout for frogs and locusts? Is this the first stage of the Zombie apocalypse?
The silver lining in all this is that maybe I can convince the wife to let me spend the tax refund on that beltfed!