Is there room in the Para/Crypto/Fortean world for a gun-toting, paranoid, bipolar, opinionated bastard? A lonely romantic in search of his lost soul? A knight, Samurai, gunslinger, born in the wrong century? A self-destructive, doom-driven survivor seeking redemption? A heavy drinking gonzo outlaw cryptozoologist whose ego is exceeded only by his libido?
No, there isn't. That's why I'm here...

19 May 2011

Any Lost FEMA Workers Out There?

During the recent tornado outbreak here in North Alabama, I, like everyone else was glued to the TV and radio listening for updates. And now that the cleanup and recovery is well underway, I feel compelled to perform a Public Service.
If you're a newsperson, weatherperson, FEMA worker, or volunteer, it might help if you know where you're going, and if you must ask directions, then learn to pronounce the name of where you're going. It would also prove beneficial to the public at large if the area's meteorologists and NOAA radio stations could do likewise, just so residents can better track the storms instead of scratching their heads trying to figure out what y'all are talking about. So, here's a little helpful guide to keep you from sounding like idiots.

Chalybeate (alternatively Chalybeate Springs): It's pronouncec KLEE-bit! Not chally-beet, not cuhlee-bee-ate, and not shuh-lee-bee-it. If you ask for directions to any of those, everyone will assume you're up to no good since you obviously don't know anything about the place and you'll end up getting sent to Mississippi.

Basham: BASH-ham, not bashem, not BAY-sham, not Bayshum. Just think about pounding your pork or something.

Sinking Creek: pronounced Sankin Creek. ALWAYS! Never, EVER "Sinking" Creek! You WILL be laughed at!

Mtn. Home: Notice that "n" there? That's because it's Mountain Home, not Mount Home, dammit! Why is that so hard to remember? Is it because of...

Mt. Hope? There's NO "n" there, so it's Mount Hope. Again, not Mountain Hope! And Mt. Hope is where "Oh! Bryan's!" steak house (not "O'Brian's", "O'Brien's", or any variation thereof!) was destroyed.

Caddo: why is this one so hard? CAT-oh, not KAY-doh, and certainly not kuh-DOO!

Arab: pronounced AY-rab, as immortalized in Ray Stevens' classic "Ahab The Arab". It has nothing to do with an oil-rich desert country, magic lamps, or flying carpets. Granted, the source of the confusion may arise from Arab's annual "Love Us" Day celebrated on July 4th, during which the residents of Arab are encouraged to dress like, well, Arabs!

But, to give credit where it's due, they usually get "Neel" right, and surprisingly I never heard Hulaco mispronounced as "Hula-koh" or "Hyoo-LACK-oh". Hyoo-LAY-koh seems to come more naturally, I guess.

On a more serious note, the recovery & rebuilding is coming along nicely. The help and support have been outstanding, and the sense of community is stronger than ever. I'm sure all those affected by this tragedy will continue to hang in there long after the volunteers and rescue workers have returned to their home states, and after the FEMA workers have all packed up and gone back to... WARSH-in-tun.

3 comments:

Jessica Penot said...

Very funny! I don't even bother correcting people anymore. It seems hopeless.

Gummerfan said...

LOL! Yep!
BTW, do you know where Punkin Center is? (and NO, it's NOT "Pumpkin" Center!) :D

Autumnforest said...

Haha. Prescott (Pres-kit).
Where I grew up Norfolk (nor-fuck).
Got ya!