Is there room in the Para/Crypto/Fortean world for a gun-toting, paranoid, bipolar, opinionated bastard? A lonely romantic in search of his lost soul? A knight, Samurai, gunslinger, born in the wrong century? A self-destructive, doom-driven survivor seeking redemption? A heavy drinking gonzo outlaw cryptozoologist whose ego is exceeded only by his libido?
No, there isn't. That's why I'm here...

03 May 2011

Does Bigfoot Fear The FLIR?

The biggest problem with the flesh-n-blood Bigfooters is the lack of evidence to support their position. No bones or bodies have ever been found. There is no fossil record in North America of anything resmbling a great ape. No hapless Bigfoot has ever been (as Chevy & Mopar fans say) Found On Road Dead. Well, here's another frustrating piece of info that I realize will not dampen their enthusiasm, but it may just stir the pot ond throw another faggot on the fire. (he said, mixing his metaphors...)
If you've ever seen the ghost hunting shows, or the monster hunting programs, you're no doubt familiar with the "FLIR" thermal imaging technology. If not, here's my best Grant Wilson impression: "'FLIR' stands for 'Forward Looking Infra Red', it's a technology that ranslates heat into a visual image".
Y'know, like how ghosts supposedly draw the heat out of the air, which causes cold spots and temperature drops, and they somehow appear as a heat source on a thermal imager. (okay, that doesn't make sense to me, either, but that's what they say anyway).
What you may not be aware of is that there are are choppers and helicopters that fly around our forests and wilderness areas using FLIR cameras to monitor animal populations, species surveys, spotting potential "hot spots" for fire prevention, and other wildlife studies. And it's not just counting little white dots, modern FLIR cameras can capture images sophisticated enough to count everything from grouse to ground squirrels.
Check this out:

The above photo from the Vision Air Research website shows four moose south of Denali National Park at 2,500 feet distance. Color me impressed.
So, how many BFs have had their images captured in any of the aerial FLIR surveys? Zip. Zilch. Nada. Not one. Not even a blobsquatch.
Defenders of the flesh-n-bllod argument attempt to counter such arguments by granting BF attributes which they shouldn't possess. "BF hasn't been captured by a trailcam because they can smell the plastic housing, or the batteries, or see the infrared lights." (no other great ape displays a sense of smell anywhere near that keen). "BF is nocturnal". (no other great ape is) BF has learned to avoid automobiles, that's why one has never been hit by a log truck." (that's a record even H. sapiens can't match!).
So, I suppose the "undiscovered ape" camp will just say that BF can hear the chopper or plane coming from miles away, has learned to avoid them (even to the extent of concealing their body heat), and has passed this info along to their offspring and to other members of the species via the woodknock telegraph.
Of course, there's always the possibility that the FLIRs just haven't been in the right place at the right time.


Autumnforest said...

I've been living and hiking in the desert since 77. They say they have javelina here. People tell me all the time, "hell, I just saw a family of them yesterday right there on the trail near your apartment!" It's not that haven't stalked the damn things for almost all of my life (well, 34 years of it) and still have yet to see a damn javelina, to see its footprint, to see its bones. And I go all over the desert. I'm really starting to believe they don't exist.

Gummerfan said...

I was in my 40s before I saw my first coyote, and I was almost that old when I saw my first armadillo, so hang in there.
And there are plenty of zoos and animal parks where one CAN see a javelina.
Bigfoot, not so much. :)

Jessica Penot said...

Gummerfan,, I'm with you. I've never seen a red wolf while hiking in the Smokies, but I know they are there. However, I do need some evidence before I believe in something and I haven't ben sold on bigfoot yet. I don't have to see him myself, but even knowing someone who has would help.

Adsila said...

Bigfoot is one smart creature and seems to know how to avoid the humans and their crazy electronic toys.

Courtney Mroch said...

I've often wondered about this. From the perspective that when I see shows out with FLIRs I'm always stunned at the alarming lack of critters they pick up with them. They need to come camping with me! I'm a freaking critter magnet. NO JOKE! But I'm not sure (and have never tried, honestly) to use my magnestism to catch a glimpse of Bigfoot. As desperately as I believe in them and hope their existence is one day proven, I'm afraid of seeing one in the wild. I'm convinced I'd look like one yummy dinner!