Is there room in the Para/Crypto/Fortean world for a gun-toting, paranoid, bipolar, opinionated bastard? A lonely romantic in search of his lost soul? A knight, Samurai, gunslinger, born in the wrong century? A self-destructive, doom-driven survivor seeking redemption? A heavy drinking gonzo outlaw cryptozoologist whose ego is exceeded only by his libido?
No, there isn't. That's why I'm here...

24 June 2011

The Bigger The Better!

As part of my new, positive approach, law of attraction thing, I started working on my Vision Board last night. I'm looking through magazines for pictures of things I want to have. I turned a page and came upon this... thing.

They're called Critter Gitters. (poetic, I know) the company's website is Apparently these behemoths are used on those big-ass "hunting ranches". You take a bunch of pampered, rich, city-dwelling wannabe hunters out on the ranch for a nice little canned hunt so they can shoot something and call themselves "hunters" and "outdoorsmen". In case you haven't picked up on it, I don't care much for this particular style of "hunting".
But, those huge vehicles ARE kinda neat. One might come in handy in case of a Graboid incursion, or maybe a Zombie apocalypse (provided you had plenty-o-fuel!) But when I'm rich and/or famous, I think I could find another use. Buy up a big chunk of remote property, get the Critter Gitter blinged out with a sound/video entertainment system, dance floor, some luxurious furnishings, and a wet bar. Drive a gang of friends out to the middle of nowhere and P-A-R-T-Y!!

11 June 2011

A Funny Thing Happened On The Path To Enlightenment...

Lately I've decided to look into some of my thoughts and theories a little more deeply. I've been pondering the possibilities that such things as monsters, "aliens", UFO's, as well as their folkoric counterparts may well be some form of "mental projection", meaning that the origins of these phenomena is actually inside our consciousness rather than "out there". Fortean researcher Nick Redfern postulates that the "celebrity cryptids" such as Bigfoot, Nessie, El Chupacabra, and others may in fact be "tulpas", or "thoughtforms made manifest". Since in so many cases of strange encounters it seems that the witnesses see what one would expect them to see (the ever-evolving UFO shapes from airships to saucers to triangles) as well as their apparent representations of cultural arechetypes (the dragon, the apeman, the giant flying creature), it does appear the the observers are in effect participants.
So, I started reading up on things like mind over matter, the power of visualization, and looking into theories of parallel universes and quantum physics. I was waiting on an order from Amazon last week, and one day I found myself with some time to kill. I decided to stroll around my local Books-A-Million and see what titles they may have. Some would call it synchronicity, an accident, a coincidence, while others insist there's really no such thing as synchronicities, accisednts, or coincidences. But a book title sort of jumped out me from from the rack. "Infinite Possibilities" by Mike Dooley. I wasn't expecting much, probably one of those "motivational" type things, but I picked it up and flipped through the pages. One italicised phrase appeared over and over again, "thoughts become things".
Okay, so I figured it might be worth a read since that seemed to go along with what I'm researching.
I know this sounds trite or cliche', but folks, that book has changed my life! By utilizing the principals in the book, backed up by what I'm learning from the scientific side (observation affects matter, the mutiple dimensions, the radical findings of the thought/matter/energy connection) I have experienced some incredible results after only a week or so! I find myself full of energy requiring less sleep, my attitude and mood have improved drastically, I've had unexpected money come into my life,(not a life-changing amount, but still...) I managed to get something I wanted at an incredibly low price, (miracle of miracles!) sex is even better, I could go on and on. This whole create your own reality thing appears to work!
I'm still reading and researching into this whole thing, but I've gotta say that I haven't been so into something in a long time!
But the big question is: will y'all still love me if I'm no longer an anger-and-angst filled bitter old curmudgeon? Yeah, of COURSE you will, because I want you to!

06 June 2011

Finding Bigfoot, And Leaving...

Yeah, I somehow managed to sit through last night's episode of "Matthew Moneymake Awesome Show Great Job", aka "Finding Bigfoot". (thanks in advance for the congratulations, lord knows it wasn't easy!)
I know it's early in the series' run, but I just gotta ask, "What's the POINT??!!" I mean, c'mon! Okay I'm willing to cut some slack to the GH, PS, GA (ugh...) crowd, because at least THEY have an "out"! Ghosts, you see, are ethereal, non-corporeal beings. Hauntings and associated phenomena, as well as UFOs and the majority of cryptid sightings are by their very nature, transcient phenomena. If a ghost doesn't want to communicate, if a spirit doesn't wish to "make its presence known", there's not a heck of a lot you can do about it. BUT, since $maker and company can apparently zero in on BF's location, if they can lure him out long enough to pose for a thermal blur, or if, miraculously by their very presence, they can "accidently" run across some "Holy Grail" tracks (from a BF with no left foot?), why do they LEAVE without , well, Finding Bigfoot?? Hell, if I ever ran across that kind of evidence, I like to see somebody try to get me out of there! Are they saving that for the finale or something?
I was also greatly surprised to learn the "fact" that the Swamp Ape's smell comes from its residing in abandoned alligator nests and soaking up methane!! Granted, I may not stay updated on the latest in Squatch news, but I had no idea that not only has it been proven that Swamp Apes exist in the first place, but apparently somebody's done Jane Goodall'ed them enough to study their nesting and grooming habits!
So far, my disappointment in this series is immeasurable. Why didn't $maker (aka "He Who Would Own BF") summon his minions, I mean, contact the local BSRO chapter, and scour the place if they had THAT much evidence the Big Guy was there?? Remeber the Great Jersy Devil Drive on Destination Truth?
Sure would have been a wiser use of his followers than convoying 'em all through the woods in their four-bys. (though I admit that rooftop thermal imager was a cool toy!)
I don't know if I'll watch FB again, maybe if there's one of those weekind marathon things. I already have the distinct impression that I'm not missing anything.

05 June 2011

This Is Just Weird...

You ever see something and think, "Y'know, I bet there's a story behind that!"? Ran across this scene today. Is it some kind of performance art? A form of protest? The fallout from a gang of angry Weight Watchers? A mysterious "sky fall'? (stranger things have happened!) Dropped by aliens? Your guess is as good as mine!