Is there room in the Para/Crypto/Fortean world for a gun-toting, paranoid, bipolar, opinionated bastard? A lonely romantic in search of his lost soul? A knight, Samurai, gunslinger, born in the wrong century? A self-destructive, doom-driven survivor seeking redemption? A heavy drinking gonzo outlaw cryptozoologist whose ego is exceeded only by his libido?
No, there isn't. That's why I'm here...

26 March 2011

Encounters Wanted!


I've got a ton of books related to encounters with monsters/cryptids/high strangeness. Most of these are older encounters (face it, by the time an encounter is reported, investigated, and a book published, it's O-L-D!). And of course, most of them, (investigation-wise) have been "done to death".
I'd like to reach out to my readership and my friends in the blog/cyber world to report any of your personal encounters to me, or refer any reports you may come across. I've actually got a few in my files that I've recieved, however, unless I have permission, I will not post them, and of course I run across a few on the web, but there are a few problems with that. So, here's my list of "rules and requirements":

1. Submit reports to gummerfan@gmail.com (this isn't the same email that I'm reached at through the blog)

2. Please state whether or not I have permission to post, publish, or share & discuss your report with other researchers. Some stories may seem minor or inconsequential, BUT, since I and other researchers are looking for patterns and such, what may seem like a minor incident could add a great deal to the overall body of data on any given phenomena. (your report of strange lights in the sky may not seem important, but if it corresponds with another incident in the same or nearby area, or at the same time, it could provide a valuable clue!)

3. Include as many details as possible. Date, time, sights, sounds, smells, "feelings" or sensations, etc.

4. Include your name and/or the names of any other witnesses. If you prefer to remain anonymous, let me know and your wish will be honored. Trust me, I am, after all, a professional.

5. While I don't "do" ghosts per se (there are plenty of people and groups who specialize in that), I am interested in your encounters (hey, it may not even be a ghost, many entities masquerade as ghosts, or can be mistaken for them). ANY reports of paranormal phenomena are welcome, from monsters to aliens, to UFOs, bumps in the night, a weird-looking animal you can't identify, bizarre events, you name it!

And please, no hoaxers!! I realize that the anonymity of the internet is a two-edged sword. While it provides a level of security for those who wouldn't otherwise report something, it also provides ample opportunities for hoaxers and jokers. I WILL attempt follow-up communication with respondents, and if I don't recieve a reply the report goes in the garbage. I WON'T call you crazy, I won't assume you're lying, and I won't pass judgement on your report.

So, let's start getting those sightings in!

24 March 2011

Get OUTTA My Head!


Okay, this is creepy! A couple of weeks ago, I posted about Goober and the Ghost Chasers and Scooby Doo. Now, what happens? If you watched GH this week (I didn't, but...) you saw that TAPS done got 'em a dawg! I'm not saying they got the idea from me, of course. Heck, I'm just a lonely voice crying out in the wilderness of the Paranormal world.
But then again...
If you've read some of my other posts, you'll know that I'm a gear & gadget freak. I've posted before about equipment I've run across in the hunting/camping/survival catalogs that might make for a nice bit-o-kit for the Monster Hunter or Paranormal Researcher. Well, lo & behold, Josh Gates and the DT crew have picked up Bass Pro Shops as a sponsor. Of course, BPS is sort of a "yuppie" outdoor shop. It's kinda like Lowe's. People who don't know about Cheaper Than Dirt, Shooter's Guide, Midway, Shotgun News or Charlie's Army/Navy Surplus gladly travel or go online for the priviledge of paying through the nose for overpriced gear from Bass Pro Shops.
But what really got my goat was seeing the DT team utilize an electronic predator caller. I've been thinking about that for a long time. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've never mentioned it here or anywhere else online because I didn't want someone stealing the idea from me. :( I admit it'll be interesting to see how well it works on cryptozoological predators, or if Josh & company will just find themselves surrounded by droves of pesky coyotes. :D

And on the subject of coincidences:
It's funny how every time I think about giving up the blog, I get a new follower or two. Is the universe stringing me along by providing me with incentive to keep going just a little longer? Or are there people out there awaiting my virtual demise who want to make sure they don't miss it?

20 March 2011

Blehhhh....

What's a guy to do? For the past month or so, I've been suffering from a major case of the Blaahhs. It's like I've stepped out of harmony with the universe or lost my Mojo or something. I haven't felt like keeping up the blog, I haven't posted many smart-ass comments on Facebook, I haven't been working out or even maintaining my lethal combat/survival skilz...
Maybe Charlie Sheen is somehow siphoning off my positive energy ("Adonis DNA" my ass!), I'm sure he needs it. Last week I came down with some kind of virus thing and spent two fun-filled days and nights with fever, chills, painful joints & muscles and generally feeling like warmed-over crap. I'm all over it now, but the Blahs are still here. I just haven't been my usual psycho/gonzo/happy-go-lucky self lately.
I HAVE been devouring a few fascinating books, reading up on UFO attacks, trying to make sense of the whole abduction thing, and learning some awesome info on one of my favorite topics, the Djinn. (did you know that the militaries of several nations have actively pursued and tried to capture them? Is that the REAL reason the US runs to the Mideast whenever an excuse presents itself?) I learned that during the wave of "chupa" (aggressive UFO) attacks in Brazil, the police and military captured some really amazing photos and video evidence. Said evidence was purchased by "an unnamed US firm". I'll lay you dollars to donuts Robert Bigelow had something to do with that. I learned this from "Confrontations" by Jacques Vallee. Vallee has spent some time on Bigelow's payroll as a consultant, so it's understandable that even if he knows Mr. Bigelow has possession of the evidence, he'snot gonna bite the hand that occassionally feeds him and reveal anything.
On the bright side, the weather's finally warmed up, Spring is in the air, the sun's shining, bears are bearing, bees are being, and thank God the Tiki Bar is open.
Hopefully this too shall pass.

12 March 2011

Pioneers Of Paranormal Investigation! (a salute!)

Before there was ever a Ghost Hunters franchise, before Zak and his gang-o-douchebags ever had a "lockdown", before Ryan Buell began obsessively trying to imitate Sylvester Stallone's voice,(I read that he actually walks around the sets rehearsing his delivery...) there was an inteprid team of Paranormal Investigators captivating TV audiences.
In fact, I'm certain that without the contributions of this pioneering team, there would be no Ghosts Hunters, no TAPS, and of course no legions of rabid followers, copycats, and wannabes.
If you're younger, you may have never heard of this band of pioneers. Or perhaps they're just a faded memory. But to me, they're the originals, the archetypes after which today's Paranormal Societies have consciously or subconsciously patterned themselves. I refer not to the Spiritualists, nor to the early parapsychologists, nor even to the esteemed Father of Ghost Hunting himself, the great Hans Holzer.
Nope, I'm talking about the folks who REALLY started the ball rolling, the team of Goober And The Ghost Chasers.

While viewed by some as just a Scooby-Doo ripoff, G&TGC was actually quite novel. First off, the ghosts were occassionally REAL, not just Farmer Jenkins in a rubber mask. And since the TAPS Paramag didn't exist at the time, our crew was employed by Ghost Chasers magazine to investigate hauntings and spooks all over the globe, while the Scooby gang just sort of cruised around until they suddenly found themselves with a mystery on their hands. ( and how many TAPSophiles don't dream of having an expense account to fund their hunts?).
Plus, just like today's ghost hunters, the Goober team had some specialized equipment at their disposal. While Jay & Grant have their EMF meters and KIIs (and the ever-popular "key-the-walkie-and-light-up-the-meter" trick) the Goobs had their ever-reliable Specter Detector. Before the advent of IR and thermal cams, Gillie of the Goober team was never without his trusty instamatic and flashcubes. (remember flashcubes?).
And, while today's Ghost Hunting shows feature guest shots by B-list celebs, Goober and The Ghost Chasers were frequently accompanied by the then-superstar Partridge Kids! (take THAT, Meatloaf!)

In fact, one episode revolved around a villiain attempting to steal Danny Partridge's voice! Fortunately for Danny and the world, the team managed to thwart his evil scheme!
So, as you tune in to view Steve & Tango attempting to manufacture, er, I mean, isolate and enhance EVP's, or ponder the possibilities of whether a 3D full-spectrum camera will do a better job of capturing blurry, inconclusive photographic evidence, take the time to give proper respect to the true pioneers of the industry, the team who had a hot redhead (Tina) before there was a Kris Williams, who had the catchphrase "This is ridic-alic-alic-alous!" long before anyone ever uttered "Dude, run!" Heck, Goober could even turn invisible, a feat which no modern counterpart has accomplished!
Goober and The Ghost Chasers: I salute you!

08 March 2011

Speaking of Aliens...


While I'm on the topic of alien invaders, I'm sure you've seen this article about a NASA scientist discovering evidence of extraterrestrial life.
I find this kinda disturbing in a tinfoil hat sort of way for many reasons:

1: I'm pretty darned close to the Marshall Center (and Jessica, I know you're even closer!) So if the Andromeda Strain or Zombie Virus or Mutant Germs From Beyond Spaaaaaaaaace were to somehow be found alive and escape from containment, your truly is near Ground Zero. Fortunately, I've got a good supply of tinfoil, plastic garbage bags and duct tape on hand. (and yeah, as a matter of fact I DO have an NBC mask and a stock of spare filters as well!). But I don't know if hunkering down with my family in an airtight abode is a better alternative to what may be "out there", especially once we start breaking open the Beenie-Weenies!

2:Did you catch that part in the article where the scientist said that some of the microrganisms didn't resemble anything KNOWN? I notice this part has been edited from most of the other versions of the article. Creepy, no? I'm bettin' there's some geneticist chompimg at the bit to try and replicate the things!

and
3: I've noticed that since the release of the story NASA and the scientific community seem to be doing an about face (or at least an oblique! if you've ever been in a marching band you'll know what that is...) . A day ago it was being touted as a major milestone, a scientific breakthrough. NOW it appears that NASA is pulling the old "wait a minute, we may have been mistaken, yep, move along, nothing to see here" trick. Anybody feelin' deja vu-ish here? "No, no, that wasn't wreckage from a flying disc at all, it was just a weather balloon..." I'm sure even now some of the websites are screaming "cover-up!"

06 March 2011

When UFOs Attack!



I realize that it's not really "in vogue"to consider that UFOs and aliens are anything other than well-meaning, benevolent Space Brothers. Or, at worst, beings who are only interested in harvesting some DNA or cattle organs to help sustain their dying race.
To ascribe any negative or primitive behaviours or attributes such as deliberate cruelty, malicious mischief, or causing intentional harm, to the UFOnauts (whoever or whatever they are) is the intergalactic equivalent of Political Incorrectness. Well folks, Politically Correct is a label which is rarely applied to yours truly! So, the Space Bros are a morally advanced, benevolent, even kind & caring bunch-o-beings, right? Well, try telling that to the Brazilians!
I first read about the "Chupa" phenomenon when I saw it mentioned in "Hunt For The Skinwalker". I thought it was interesting, but I got so caught up in the other heavy weirdness in the book that I put it on the back burner. Now, I've just finished "UFO Danger Zone: Terror and Death in Brazil- Where Next?" by Bob Pratt. The UFO attacks in Brazil have also been researched by noted UFOlogist Jacques Vallee, and are the subject of his book, "Confrontations" which I haven't read yet.
The reports are too long to post here, but here's a link to a blog detailing just a few of the encounters. More can also be found here.
While reading through the statements of the winesses and victims, a few things set off my paranoid radar. First: the UFOs seem to exhibit some contridictory characteristics. They can spot and target a single individual from a great distance, yet they can be thwarted if the target hides in the bushes? They can travel and accelerate at impossible speeds, but the victims can escape by RUNNING AWAY? The UFOs are equipped with beams or rays capable of levitating people or objects, but they can't get you if you grab a bush, tree, or even clumps of grass? Such advanced beings/craft resort to grappling hooks as an attempted abduction tool?
These contradictions may not make sense to some, but to a compulsive paranoid like myself, I smell disinformation! Are you safe if you hide in the undergrowth? Of course not! But by making us think that, THEY are intilling a false sense of security. (why build a bunker if you're convinced you're safe in a closet?). And NO, you couldn't really outrun them, but it's good strategy for them to convince us that we can, right? Could they really pluck you up despite your efforts to resist? Most likely, but, if they were just testing equipment, or performing some kind of experiment (or recon?) they wouldn't really have to, would they?
It's a fascinating, intrigueing, and yes, frightening topic.
Is Brazil just a proving ground for some kind of advanced technology (extraterrestrial or otherwise)? Wht's they're purpose? What's their goal? Why are they there? And of course, the most chilling question of all: WHO'S NEXT??

05 March 2011

Bigfoot: Do They Go Both Ways?

The debate continues in the Crypto/Para camps. Is BF just an undiscovered primate? An undocumented ape species, possibly a relic hominid, OR, is BF a paranormal, dimension-hopping entity not of this natural earth? Tastes Great! Less Filling! Hey, you got paranormal in my primate! You got primate in my paranormal!...
Both sides of the debate have their strident supporters, both sides can present eyewitness testimony and anecdotal and circumstatial evidence to support their respective cases. I've followed this debate for decades, I've jumped from one side of the fence to the other often enough to qualify as an Olympic hurdler. I've also straddles said fence enough that I should be walking bowlegged by now. I have decided to offer an alternative scenario. Who says Bigfoot can't be BOTH?
You're probably saying, "Okay, Gummer, you're just trying to have it both ways! That's just not fair!" But hear me out before you slap the wishy-washy waffle label on me.
First up, there's plenty of precedent for this position elsewhere in the lore and legends of the world. We KNOW dogs exist, we know black dogs exist. They walk among us every day, they eat their Dog Chow, fetch balls & sticks, retrieve fallen fowl, stand guard, and do all the other things normal dogs do. Because they ARE normal dogs. However, folklore and Forteana are full of examples of black dogs that are most decidely not normal. The Beast of Bungay, the Black Shuck, numerous other hellhounds, devil dogs and spectral black canines with glowing red eyes that serve as phantom guardians, portents of death and destruction, or even as protectors. Black dogs are normal known animals, Phantom Black Dogs are paranormal phenomena. By extension, the same can be said of other animals. Wolves, cats, crows, owls, coyotes, and so on. A check of folklore and tradition will reveal a ton of accounts in which normal, known, natural animals behave in abnormal, unknown, and unnatural ways. So, why shouldn't it be possible for BF to be a normal (albeit undocumented) creature, yet also serve as a model for have a supernatural counterpart?

OOPs! (There it is!)
Another area of Cryptozoology is the research into cases of Out Of Place animals. Known creatures who appear in places where they simply shouldn't be. Documented sightings of kangaroos, maned lions, and the ubiquitous alien black big cats in the Midwest, chimpanzees in FL, the list goes on. There's no reason to believe the OOP animals are themselves anything other than flesh-n-blood species. Only the circumstances of their appearance (and disappearance) defies the Natural Order Of Things. So, a BF in the Cascade Mountains? Sure. A BF in a big city, or a desert? OOPs!

What time is it?
In addition to Out Of Place animals, the annals of Cryptozoology and High Strangeness also reveal accounts of "out of time" animals. We know that giant birds (Teratorns) and huge winged dinosaurs (Pterasaurs) ONCE existed. There's no doubting the evidence there, but these creatures are (supposedly) long gone. Other dinosaurs have long since perished as well. But, we still have eyewitness accounts of Thunderbirds and other giant flying things (both feathered and fleshed), and other living dinosaurs reported from Texas to Ohio to the Congo. Again, we know the creatures once existed. The only thing about them that is inexplicable is that people still see the darned things. Is Giganto extinct? Is Neandertal Man a thing of the past? Most likely. But somebody needs to inform THEM of this fact. Again, natural creatures in unnatural circumstances.

And of course there's the frustrating possibility that the whole BF phenomenon is yet another example of some kind of unfathomable Intelligence letting us see what "It" wants us to see. Like the numerous UFO/alien stories, or creatures from the Faery realm or nature spirits, BF may just be an interdimensional sock puppet putting on a show for whatever reason...